


Coming Home

by Aussiefan70



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: 12, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Season/Series 12, Team as Family, alternative ending.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 14:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11716653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aussiefan70/pseuds/Aussiefan70
Summary: Here's my small offering to the Forever Angst first anniversary fun and games, from a prompt on Facebook.Spencer is out of prison but struggling....really hard.  And he needs to remember he has family.





	Coming Home

Dr Spencer Reid stood at the front of the room, dishevelled and unshaven, and looked out to the collected group. He’d only been released from prison two days ago, confronting and nearly strangling Cat soon after. It took several hours before he was reunited with his mother and his team. Even Morgan had shown up the next day, to provide intel on Mr Scratch. And also to offer the moral support he’d been locked out of, by Reid’s wishes, as he’d been too humiliated to pull new father Derek back into the mess he perceived he’d created.

“Um….Hi….my name is Spencer”, he stammered out.  
“I’ve not been able to get to meetings for a while…..ummm...well...because….”, Spencer’s voice petered out. He didn’t have the slightest clue how to address his absence in front of a group of fellow law enforcement officers. How could he ever ask the NA group of Beltway Clean Cops to accept the fact he’d spent months in prison and had been high (if not by choice) when arrested, and being technically illegally in Mexico, having not notified the Bureau of his travel plans.

The group murmured sounds of welcome, knowing the man and a little of his story. It’s not like an elite FBI agent from the BAU gets sent to prison without a few ripples in the law enforcement world. Spencer settled a little and looked to the back of the room.

Spotting John, his sponsor, he calmed even more. Trying again, he started anew.

“Hi I’m Spencer, and I’m addicted to Dilaudid, but, despite years of sobriety, I’ve only technically been clean since I was imprisoned recently courtesy of an UNSUB determined to take me down.”

“I don’t know where to even begin with this. You all know me pretty well by now. I’m a very private person by nature and now my whole life is open to almost the entire world. I’m scared, frustrated, worried about my team and my mother…..I don’t know how to cope any more. I did things in prison that I’d never have contemplated in the outside world, because I had to survive. If I broke down there, what stops me from breaking down now I’m out here again, when life gets too hard, because it will???”

Reid paused for a moment, visibly trying to pull his emotions back under control. The group offered silent support, understanding the depth of his struggle. His story, while not fully or easily available to the media, was well known in the DC law enforcement community. It was a signature tale for how difficult it could be to try to balance family and life obligations with the badge, especially when battling addiction.

The sympathetic audience gave the agent the time he needed to gather his emotions and his thoughts. Spencer continued, “You know, like a number of us here….I’ve had to take a kill shot more than once in the past. One of the hardest was a man named Tobias Hankel, the man who got me hooked on Dilaudid, trying to help protect me from his alter-egos. He was a victim too, only of DID and terrible paternal abuse. There have been others too…..”

Struggling to bring his thoughts together, Spencer paused again. 

“I nearly strangled the woman who put me in prison…..I nearly gave up everything I that I value in this world, to exact some tiny piece of revenge. On top of making choices while in that prison to protect myself, that inevitably harmed others. I feel like I became one of those UNSUBS I chase. I acted without morals and destroyed any value system I once held dear. I know my mother needs me desperately….I’ve never shared here that she’s schizophrenic and was institutionalised by me, when I was 18. And now she has Alzheimers and is deteriorating very rapidly. I went to Mexico hoping to help her in ways conventional medicine couldn’t. My ego was totally convinced I was smart enough to figure out how to save her...how to keep her here and present.”

Bowing his head to the weight of the burden of care he’d carried practically all his life, Spencer Reid, certified genius, raised it again and admitted, brokenly “I can’t save her, I can’t fix her...this disease is going to take her completely from me, a little piece every day!”

The oppressive strain of all he’d been through over the last few months finally exhausted Reid and he collapsed into the chair behind him, barely holding back the sobs that were begging to be released. John rushed to the front of the room and wrapped him in comforting arms. Concerned group members came close, but not so close as to scare or crowd the younger man. Muttering almost under his breath, Spencer voiced his fears “I’m afraid of using again…..I couldn’t bear to live with myself if I used again.”

Providing support to his agent, John encouraged him towards the back of the room and to accept a cup of coffee….if only to give him something to concentrate on and hold in his hands. The group coordinator, aware of the tension, suggested a break and the other members drifted away, giving Spencer and John the space they needed to process through the emotion of the meeting.

Finally calm, Reid looked at the FBI Assistant Director and voiced his thanks for his support, for his wisdom and also for his silence. John replied “There’s no one I’d rather have my back as an agent than you. Don’t let the setbacks turn you away. And you must realise I also know you’ve been pushing your BAU team away too”.

Spencer tried to protest, but John persisted.  
“I know you’ve been trying to protect them...take all the responsibility on yourself. But they care about you, have been fighting for you….taken a lot of flak for you. You need to let them in.”

Spencer tried to argue once more, but was hushed by his sponsor.  
“I have to admit, I’ve taken a terrible liberty”, John responded, “I’ve technically broken the sanctity of these meetings, their purpose and their anonymity...and I’ve done it for the purpose of reinforcing why these meetings mean so much to you!”

Confused, Reid tried to speak and was interrupted once again. Finishing up, John bit the bullet and said “I think that you need more than this group to help you heal from this trauma….I think you need more than a twelve step programme. You’re part of a family in the BAU, and you need to open up to them and accept their support. You all really are family….let them help you! When you go outside, I want to you go down to the diner half a block south of here. Your team is waiting for you...please take the support they are offering”.

Hesitantly, Spencer accepted his sponsor’s wisdom, heading into the diner as directed. A sign on the door announced "Closed for a family event". The entire team was there…..Emily, JJ, Penelope, Dave, Alvez, Walker, Lewis and a few surprises too. Alex Blake stood up from the booth, wrapped him in a tight embrace, and whispered “I’m here for whatever you need, you know that!”. Kate Callahan also gave him a quick hug, “I may not be coming back to the team, but I’m always available at the end of the phone”. Even Morgan had delayed his flight back to his family to celebrate with the team. But the night’s biggest surprise grabbed him and held him tight.

“Hotch!!!!!” 

“And Jack”, Hotch responded, as his son wrapped Spencer into a three way group hug.

“We can’t stay long”, Hotch answered, “But we wanted to be here for the family reunion, to support you and to encourage you all to get Mr Scratch, so we can put all this behind us and be back together again”.

Holding tight to his long standing boss, Spencer could only stay silent as he tried to control his tears. All those months in prison, he’d deliberately isolated himself, imagining how necessary it was to push his team and family away, to make them desert him...and yet, here they were. Even the ones who, for safety’s sake, shouldn’t be there. He couldn’t control the swell of his heart as he contemplated the wealth of support and friendship offered to him, and as he did, the last few remnants of prison despair fell away, and he knew he’d come home.

**Author's Note:**

> For the purposes of this fic, I'm leaving out the final scene of the last season. I have no crystal ball for season 13, but in my head, this is how I wish Spencer's return had played out. Its not exactly a cliff hanger, and sadly its not as if anyone ever asked me either....sigh.


End file.
